In an effort to educate you in all things weather, here is a temperature indication chart we have devised...60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Nebraskans start planting.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Scottsbluff.
40 above zero: Most imported cars won’t start. Nebraska motorcyclists are on a Poker Run to Ainsworth.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in the Platte gets thicker.
20 above zero: People in New Mexico don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. Nebraskans throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Nebraska have one last outdoor Husker-themed BBQ before it gets cold.
Zero: People in Miami all die. Nebraskans start to close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. Nebraskans start to dig out the cool insulated Pioneer Seeds jacket they won last year in the Husker Harvest Days drawing.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Nebraska are now selling cookies door to door in North Platte.
40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Scottsbluff let their dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Nebraskans get upset because the Pick-up won’t start.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Nebraska can be heard to say, “Cold ’nuff for ya?”
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Nebraska public schools open 2 hours late.
